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July 26, 2006
Happy Birthday to Me!!!!
Today is my birthday, only one year left until I reach the "Age of Understanding". (When I was little and asked all those annoying questions parents don't want to answer Mom would tell me "You'll understand when you're 35" -- of course, she was advancing the age with each of her birthdays, and at that rate I would never understand anything, an arbitrary age had to be set, so 35 it is.) Apparently, 34 is the "rubber" birthday, because my birthday present was a flat tire, which could not be repaired and had to be replaced. Thank goodness I work with a bunch of guys who do their best to protect me from myself and know how to put a spare on. (I actually do know HOW to, but so far have not had to.)
I was going to post a picture of me with my cake on my first birthday, but that requires converting it from a slide to a print, and then to a digital format, and I just wasn't forsighted enough to do that. Maybe next year!
Posted by Anna at 1:16 PM | Comments (1)
July 23, 2006
New Pet Peeve...
This particular sentence seems to be following me lately: "There are risks associated with (insert appropriate drug/medical procedure here), but your doctor has determined the benefits outweigh the risks." I'm sorry, but I side with the person who said "I may not always know what's in my best interests, but surely no one else knows better." (My memory is fuzzy, somebody help me out, did that come from "Optimal Thinking" by Rosalene Glickman?) I have no intention of checking my brain at the door to the clinic or pharmacy, and blindly obeying doctor orders, especially when I have concerns about the appropriateness of the order for my circumstances.
Posted by Anna at 9:21 PM | Comments (0)
July 16, 2006
Overheard....
... in Wal-Mart, dad to teenage daughter "I don't hate you, but I'm gonna punch you in the nose the next time you say I hate you."
Posted by Anna at 3:46 PM | Comments (0)
July 15, 2006
The Perfect Gift....
For every man on your list....
From Harriet Carter:
"'Finger' Nose Hair Trimmer is everyone's 'pick' to remove unsightly nasal hair!"
Posted by Anna at 5:26 PM | Comments (1)
97 Cans of Coke Per Day.....
In response to my previous post about the woman suing Coke over their rewards promotion, sister Sarah has commented that she uses Coke for several cleaning applications including laundry and as a "fume-free" stove cleaner.
"All this to say, who says we're drinking 97 Cokes a day? Maybe we just find it a handy cleaner!"
That reminded me of an old boss who used Coke to clean pennies (made them nice and shiny!), and cousin Ruby who witnessed Coke being poured over the corrosion on her car battery, and swore off drinking Coke forever (although, I've heard that many other carbonated beverages will do the same). So I put my research assistant, Google, onto the task of finding some other ways to help us get our daily quota of 97 cokes per day. Here are some other ideas:
*** disclaimer: ideas listed here have not been tested by the author, and as such, the author neither endorses nor assumes liability for damages occuring from such use.***
Tanning Lotion: Apply regular Coke directly to skin, purported to soften skin and leave a long-lasting tan, even when used in a tanning bed. *** Not likely endorsed by indoor tanning associations, but come to think of it, my tanning salon does sell Coke.***
Antiquing Photos: Soak new photo in Coke until you achieve the color you want, remove using care not to touch the front of the photo and pat dry with a soft lintless material, or drip dry, then finish drying with a hair dryer.
Cure for Trots: Allow 2 liter bottle of Coke to go flat at room temperature, then drink one glass every couple of hours.
Cure for Constipation: Mix 8 oz. Coke in blender with 1-3 Tbsp. of Castor Oil or Mineral Oil.
Remove Gum from Hair: Soak for a few minutes in a bowl of Coke, then wipe the gum off hair. *** Does anybody still use Peanut Butter or Butter for that anymore?***
Cheap Party Trick: Apparently a can of regular Coke placed in a swimming pool will sink, but a can of Diet Coke will float. Who Knew?
Body Lotion: Mix a spoonful of regular Coke with unscented lotion and apply to dry skin. Purportedly results in smooth skin and long lasting results. *** I may have to try that, my skin and air conditioning in the hot summer do not agree.***
Grout Cleaner: Spill can of Coke on tile floor (either accidentally or on purpose), wipe off.
Green Grass: Spray Coke (or store brand cola) on grass once a month, allegedly results in a super green coloring that lasts longer in fall and winter months.
Common Cold: Mix fresh ginger with a can of Coke, bring to boil, then let cook on low heat for awhile. Drink while warm.
Congestion: Drinking a glass of hot Coke each night before bed will ease symptoms of congestion and phlegm.
Nausea: One teaspoon of flat Coke every hour will ease symptoms of nausea.
Blood Cleaning Agent: Apparently there is an episode of "MythBusters" that proves Coke will clean pig blood off the highway, whether the Highway Patrol actually carries it in the trunks of their cars for such a use, is debateable.
Cooking with Coke
Coca Cola Cake: Mix one Chocolate Cake mix with one can of Diet Coke and bake as directed on package. Alternative, one White Cake mix and one can of Diet Sprite. *** Would Diet Mountain Dew work for a Yellow Cake?***
Steak Marinade: Marinate steaks in Coke before grilling.
Pot Roast: Use Coke instead of water when cooking.
Ham or Turkey Breast: Empty can of Coke into baking pan, wrap ham in aluminum foil and bake, 30 minutes before ham is finished, remove foil and allow drippings to mix with Coke for an awesome brown gravy. Follow same instructions for Turkey Breast using Sprite instead of Coke.
More "Cokelore" can be found here:
Barefoot Lass
Break the Chain
or on Wikipedia
Posted by Anna at 3:58 PM | Comments (0)
July 14, 2006
Has Common Sense Died???
Now there's a woman suing Coke, over their rewards promotion, because she's afraid someone might actually try to drink enough coke to win the top prize. By her estimates it would take 151 12 oz. cans of Coke each day between now and the end of the promotion to earn that many points, an amount she insists would kill a person. I'm a Coke fan, I drink Coke almost every day. I drink between 3 and 5 cans a day when I work, and one or two a day on the weekend, and I buy a 20 oz bottle at the laundrymat when I'm waiting on my clothes. If I'm at a restaurant which serves Pepsi products, I won't drink Pepsi as a substitute, I'll order sweet tea or something else. But I'm not stupid enough to drink 151 cans of coke a day, or even think I might be able to.
Here's a quote from Miss Harvey's website:
"If your child, or a friend's child, or any child for that matter was set on winning "sing like an Idol" and tried to drink the 97 cokes a day that it would take to accure enough points and they DIED, would you blame Coke?"
I personally would not blame Coke, I would blame the parents. I would wonder where the child came up with the money to purchase 97 cokes per day. I buy my Coke by stocking up when it's on sale, I pay roughly .25 cents per can this way. The child who was smart enough to figure they need to drink 97 Cokes per day to win the prize, and to stock up on Coke at it's cheapest price would spend nearly $25.00 per day. I don't know of any kids who's weekly allowance is $175.00, but if there are any, I hope their parents carefully monitor their soft drink consumption, this child would need to down a can of Coke every 10 to 15 minutes to get his/her daily quota.
Miss Harvey also insists that people cannot team up and pool their points, but again, she's wrong. I drink a lot of Coke on a regular basis, but I have no plans to redeem any of the points, and there are probably a lot of other people like me, who buy Coke for the product and throw away the points. I would happily save them for someone I knew who was passionate about winning a prize, in the same way I gladly give my aluminum cans to the guy at work who recycles them. I know of guys at work who give their cigarette wrappers to a guy who redeems the points (so he doesn't have to smoke all those cancer causing cigarettes himself). Miss Harvey calls for public outcry to stop Coke, as "a million mad moms", do we really have to be angry? Can't we be reasonable instead and see this for what it is, a harmless promotion? Perhaps "a million reasonable people" need to call for an end to her frivilous lawsuit.
Posted by Anna at 12:33 PM | Comments (1)
July 9, 2006
Traumatized again....
My PTMJCSD flared again today. I was sitting outside the laundrymat waiting for my clothes to dry, quietly reading a book on solar electric homes. Across the table sat a young man, also reading, when a moving object entered my field of vision. My brain first processed it as a mouse, and I screamed and picked my feet up off the ground. I focused in on it and realized it was some sort of salamander or lizard or something, as the young man asked me if I'd been bitten. I said "no, there's something under the table". He looked down, and said "oh, it's a lizard!" in the tone of voice that told me he thought it was cute. Resisting the urge to squint at him like he was some kind of icky boy, I confessed that I'd thought it was a mouse at first, then put my feet up on the legs of the table and my head back down in my book, and pretended I wasn't embarrassed.
Posted by Anna at 11:22 PM | Comments (2)
July 8, 2006
Summer nights...
Ah, the sounds of a quiet summer evening, the crickets, the frogs, the bells on the clock tower, an occasional "pop" from leftover fireworks, and the neighbor relieving himself on the concrete balcony we all walk on, just two doors down. This makes Reason # 42 why I cannot get out of this apartment soon enough. Special thanks to the residents of that unit for realizing their buddy was peeing, and cussing him out in spanish so he would quit (even I can understand "tu loco?", but I didn't know the "F" word is the same in all languages.)
Posted by Anna at 9:52 PM | Comments (0)
July 7, 2006
I'm a big girl now!!!!
Do you ever have one of those moments when it suddenly hits you that you're a grown up? That happened to me today when I was putting my hair up before going to see the mortgage loan originator to get pre-qualified for buying a house. Just out of the blue the impact of buying my own house, all by myself, hit me and I realized I'm a big girl now! It almost seems surreal, like it's not really happening or something.
The mortgage process was not at all scary like I thought it would be, and because of recent changes in the law, he had to give me a copy of my credit score. I've never seen my credit score, but the range between the three of them went from 773 to 788! (850 is the best you can get.) My application sailed through with no snags, they approved me for up to $70,000, which is higher than my estimate. What was really great was sitting across the desk from the banker who was telling me just how ready I was to buy a house, and that it only made sense for me to be doing it. Now all I've got to do is find the right house!
Posted by Anna at 6:53 PM | Comments (0)
July 5, 2006
PTMJCSD (Post Traumatic Mamba Jamba Cockroach Stress Disorder)...
I believe I've got PTMJCSD, the primary symptom is freaking everytime an object (anything from a crumb on the carpet to a screw on the wall) enters peripheral vision. Objects appear 375% their actual size as long as they remain in the peripheral vision, and the illusion of movement occurs, even if the object is completely stationary and incapable of movement (as in the case of the screw in the wall).
Posted by Anna at 1:44 AM | Comments (0)
July 4, 2006
Today is my last day of freedom from work, but I believe I got my money's worth out of it. I started by sleeping the day away, which may have been a mistake as it led to bizarre dreams about folding laundry and really long ear hair. In the afternoon I took some time out of being totally lazy to play with bubbles and the little guy next door. I wasn't actually blowing the bubbles for him, I found a little gun that shoots a continuous stream of little bubbles at Wal-Mart this weekend, a "must have" if you want to be known as "the coolest neighbor lady".
I went to the fireworks tonight, they were fabulous, perhaps the best I've ever seen (although I probably say that every year, except last year when they were just ok). I'll admit confusion as to the significance of the SpongeBob Squarepants song in the patriotic soundtrack, because I just really hate SpongeBob. Of course I went early enough to get cotton candy and do some people watching. Since this is an election year, the kids of politicians were working the crowds (an entirely different childhood scar I won't go into here). One little boy handed me a nailfile, emblazoned with the name of a county official up for re-election this year, and I looked at it wondering if it was intended to remind me of the candidates abrasive personality.
*** Disclaimer: The above comment is not intended to be an actual statement of knowledge of the individual candidate, in fact, the candidate is totally unknown to the author, and may be a totally competent individual. ***
In all I'd say my 5 day weekend was a total success, I'm all caught up on my introverting (having burned through about 20 tealights sitting on the patio for countless hours either reading or just watching cars run the stop sign at the intersection). I also did some minor trespassing in Kentucky (maybe I'll post pictures if I got anything good out of it), and began my house shopping thanks to a kick in the pants from the Mamba Jamba of cockroaches. And, yes, I'm ready to go back to work tomorrow (it's only two days, I'm sure I'll survive!)
Posted by Anna at 1:03 AM | Comments (0)
July 3, 2006
House Fever
My encounter with the Mamaba Jamba of cockroaches this weekend caused my house fever to spike out of control! So, today I contacted a realtor to start house shopping! I cannot wait to leave apartment life behind.
Posted by Anna at 5:01 PM | Comments (1)
July 2, 2006
My First Research Report.....
Effects of Common Household Chemicals on Mamba Jamba Sized Cockroaches: An Informal Study
1. Introduction / Project Description:
The purpose of this study was to identify household chemicals which were effective as insecticides on Mamba Jamba sized Cockroaches.
2. Methods and Results:
Subject for this study was a Periplaneta Americana, subjects age and gender were unknown, size of subject was recorded only as "Mamba Jamba".
Subject was initially observed for control purposes during Phase One, subject demonstrated normal physical agility and concealment techniques when exposed to light, eg. racing behind the research institute toilet out of the sight of the slightly hysterical female researcher.
During Phase Two, subject was again observed lounging on toilet paper roll inches from body of aformentioned hysterical female researcher. On second observation, hysterical female researcher administered repeated applications of a proprietary blend of detergents, solvents, fragrance, Ammonia-D®, and alcohol (referred to in the rest of this report as "Windex®"). Subject immediately engaged in avoidance behaviors, eg. attempting to crawl behind toilet paper roll in order to avoid chemical application.
Effects of application of "Windex®" on subject were only temporary, dissapating in less than 90 minutes, and subject showed no impairment of agility, which was demonstrated by ascending to the vertex of the research institute shower. On later observation, subject did appear to display a streak-free shine.
While observing subject on the shower, the frenetic female researcher began applications of a proprietary blend of water, glycerin, organic solvent, surfectants, Cyfluthrin and Imidacloprid (referred to in the rest of the report as "Rose and Flower Insect Killer"). Researcher began with nozzle of applicator in the "spray" position, later switching to "stream" position for increased accuracy in application after subject's avoidance behaviors lessened.
Obsessive application of "Rose and Flower Insect Killer" was necessary to produce a notable effect on subject, but effects were permanent as subject was later observed in the supine position on the kitchen floor of the research institute, with little noticeable movement of appendages or antenae. Subject was immediately placed in sensory deprivation chamber which was then weighted to prevent egression.
Also considered for use in the study was the household chemical "Easy-Off Oven Cleaner", however subject was not available for additional phases of the study.
3. Conclusion:
This study was intentionally limited in scope, however the research team feels fairly confident in concluding that "Windex®" is not an effective chemical against Mamba Jamba sized cockroaches. The research team further concludes that "Windex®" is not likely to be an effective agent on smaller sizes of cockroaches, but would likely provide them with a "streak-free" shine as well.
While "Rose and Flower Insect Killer" proved to be effective in erradicating the Mamba Jamba sized cockroach, further research is needed to establish the lowest effective dose.
Further studies will be necessary to establish the effectiveness of "Easy Off Oven Cleaner" against Mamba Jamba sized cockroaches. Further studies are also needed to determine effectiveness of household cleaners on cockroaches of smaller sizes.
This report has not been subjected to peer review.
Posted by Anna at 12:31 AM | Comments (0)
July 1, 2006
Reflections on July 4th....
So, I'm sitting on my patio tonight, watching the second fire truck rumble through the intersection, the air cloudy with smoke from my neighbors fireworks display, and I'm thinking "When the founding fathers signed the Declaration of Independence, did they envision their descendents celebrating by getting drunk and blowing things up?"
Posted by Anna at 12:47 AM | Comments (1)