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October 1, 2006
Part 10
Q. Does gender really matter?
Same-sex families, according to Mr. Stanton, promote a "Mr. Potato Head" view of the world, that we are all the same except for our external body parts. He claims that same-sex families send the message that "all women are not needed for the family", and that "all men are not needed for the family". Same-sex marriage is anti-human. He closes by telling us heterosexual families celebrate diversity and same-sex families celebrate sameness.
Absolutely gender matters, if it weren't for gender, how would we know which restroom to use at the mall? What is gender, how do we define it, and are we really talking about gender, or gender stereo-types?
Gender is a fairly simple concept, right? Most of us understand it by the time we figure out how to use the toilet, boys are outties and become daddys, girls are innies and become mommies. In High-school Biology class we get a little more in depth and learn that gender really is determined by our chromosomes, girls are XX and boys are XY. Who remembers hearing about XO, or XXX, or XXY or XYY, XO/XY, XX male or XY female combinations, or about individuals with four or even more sex chromosomes? It would be much easier if we were all either square pegs or round pegs, then we could find the appropriately shaped recepticle and get on with our lives.
The biological basis for homosexuality has become clearer in recent years, and maybe some day we will completely understand it. But how do those who believe homosexuality is a choice and is completely condemned by religious beliefs adapt to this new information? It wouldn't be the first time. We no longer consider the cause of mold or leprosy to be sin, we know they are caused by micro-organisms, and have adapted to this information. Carlos and Fernando are a pair of gay flamingos who have been together for five years, they have sucessfully raised three foster chicks by stealing eggs from their heterosexual neighbors, maybe they can help us.
Conclusion:
I began this journey as a neutral voice in the gay marriage debate, but my position now is much more in favor of gay marriage than neutral. How did hearing Focus on the Family's presentation and researching the facts for myself change me? It was after hearing Mr. Stanton's impassioned plea for gender. With his words still ringing in my ears a number of questions began to form in my head. Am I a person who tells young girls "You can be anything you want to be -- except a mommy"? Am I a person who tells young boys "You can be anything you want to be -- except a daddy"? Am I a person who looks out at society and says "You can't be who you are, because I'm not ok with it, I want you to be somebody else."
Posted by Anna at October 1, 2006 11:53 PM
Comments
anna, this is excellent. i like that you bring up that gender is actually pretty complicated--what does FotF want to do with people who are intersexual or people whose natural personality doesn't fit the stereotype for the feminine or masculine? as someone who is living in the lesbian soccer mom capital of the world, it's hard for me to imagine same-sex families doing anything but working hard to enrich the lives of their children as well as our community.
Posted by: jen lemen at October 2, 2006 11:09 AM
Hi, Anna!
I stumbled across your blog through a random Google search, and kept reading because you have some really interesting things to say, and I like how you back up your opinions with facts.
I appreciate the effort that went into researching and writing this thoughtful piece. It was educational for me to really read some of the arguments that the Right makes against same-sex marriage. I'm still going "Huuuhhh???" but at least now I more educated about they're trying to say.
I've added you to my RSS feeds, and I'm looking forward to reading more in the future!
Posted by: Britt at October 2, 2006 1:07 PM
Thanks Jen and Britt! I started this with no expectations, and so the ending was a surprise even to me. It was an incredible learning experience for me. I'm glad you're here!
Posted by: Anna at October 2, 2006 1:39 PM
Anna, wow! Thank you! We are close personal friends with your brother (I found you thru his blog) and his FAMILY. I am a gay man, deeply in love and devoted to my partner of 13 years. We recently adopted our 7-year-old son from Ukraine. We are a FAMILY and we appreciate your your work, your words and your wisdom.
Posted by: Scott ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.annasslant.com/nav-commenters.gif)
at October 14, 2006 2:08 PM
Scott, thanks so much, I have to confess though, you are not such a stranger as you may think. Dave gave me a link to your blog while I was working on this, and your post about your son being your little magnifying glass provided much insight and inspiration!
Posted by: Anna at October 15, 2006 5:22 PM