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July 2, 2008
Hospital Hacks: Food and Nutrition
The key to ordering hospital food is realizing they are not offering actual food, but flavored cardboard, or salted and colored water. All food choices must be done either 24 hours in advance, or will be made by proxy while you are sound asleep so as to keep you guessing as to what you are supposed to be fed.
Monday night's dinner was cardboard flavored chicken with gravy and shreded paper dressing. Lunch on Tuesday was vegetable flavored water with red coloring. Tuesday night I was afraid to even look but was told it was pork flavored cardboard with breading. This morning; french toast flavored cardboard without the dignity of strawberries and whipped cream.
Occasionally there will be fruit on the tray. This is actual food and is safe to eat, because there is no way to mess up grapes, strawberries, bananas and the like. Do not confuse this fruit, however, with the emaciated fruit coctail added in with the red jello, because the ways to mess that up are enumerable.
I am plotting my escape, the only problem is my getaway driver won't cooperate.
Posted by Anna at July 2, 2008 8:33 AM