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July 27, 2008
Weekend Quest
***authors note*** this post was kidnapped by blogsphere gremlins and only recently escaped captivity.***
For my thirty-sixteenth birthday someone I trust explicitly talked me into making an odyssey to the Land of Dysfunctional Maps. Bored with the minutiae of every day life and drawn in by her convincing tales of abundant treasure to be found, I eagerly agreed.
At daybreak (which arrives around 11:00 am local time), we set out in search of adventure. So sure were we of our destination, we left our internal compasses and my digital camera behind. (Which explains why there is no picture of us in search of adventure.) We stopped first at the local Starbucks, in order to procure sustenance for our travels.
Ignoring the advice of google maps we followed a secret passageway, which promised fewer interstate perils. We soon arrived at our destination, believing all we had to do was locate the red X, and treasure would be ours. Legend had failed to prepare us for the sights we were to behold, buildings upturned and laying atop one another, surely a giant troll or some other raging beast had just passed through. Along our way were many other travel weary pilgrims, seeking the same treasure we had come for.
We made a stop at the home of a local seer named Tourist Information and were provided with several maps, each more confusing than the other. Was North to the right, left, top or bottom? We followed the path marked "You are lost", turned around, backtracked, turned around again. At the city limit sign of "Getting Colder" I realized we were in a totally different hamlet than the treasure was purported to be in and my companion alerted me to the fact our reserves were low.
We were able to ascertain our location as the intersection of "You are lost" and "What the Hell!?!?" My companion left a trail of breadcrumbs to mark our path. In this clearing was a cottage marked "Wendy's", where the inhabitants were more than happy to provide food and drink. We drank the elixir of knowledge, and the maps tightly held secrets were revealed. We marked our path, and resumed our journey, our hunger for treasure growing more intense with each passing moment.
With only a few minor mis-steps we arrived under the red X, and behold, the vast treasure awaiting. Under a neon arrow claiming "You are here" a local waif promised protection for my dusty carriage, for a small fee, and we gladly accepted his offer. On the street marked "Finally found what I'm looking for" we stood, mouths agape, stunned by the strange, amazing and sometimes terrible sights. There was more to see and do here than we could take in on just one day. We wandered along, two more pilgrims in the Land of Dysfunctional Maps, stopping sometimes to scoop up treasure until our pockets could carry no more. It was well past nightfall before we returned to the car and set out on the road marked "Take me back to Kansas", exhausted yet content.
Awaking this morning, it all seemed so long ago and far away, but for one small reminder that it really had happened, just the way I remember.
Posted by Anna at July 27, 2008 3:27 AM
Comments
Such a strange adventure. Are you sure it wasn't a dream?
Posted by: Nancy at August 13, 2008 6:42 PM
Is that the rarely seen Gatlinberg flamingo?
Posted by: Elsie at August 14, 2008 3:53 PM