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September 30, 2008
Is it time to panic???
It's sort of difficult to listen to all of Washington's chicken little's running around screaming the sky is falling when my mailbox and inbox are being inundated with refinancing, home equity and credit extension offers. Somehow I find it hard to believe that life as we know it will end if we don't rescue bankers from poor decisions.
Posted by Anna at 1:39 PM | Comments (0)
September 29, 2008
"Child 44"
or "shock, Anna actually read fiction".
If ever a book required a warning on the cover "Child 44" by Tom Rob Smith would be it. I started reading just after 10:00 pm Saturday thinking I would read a couple chapters before bed. The next thing I knew it was past 3:00 am and I could not put the book down. I reached the last page at 5:19 am, even the neighbors children banging on my front door couldn't wake me before early afternoon.
Posted by Anna at 1:38 PM | Comments (0)
September 28, 2008
I see remedial sales and marketing classes in your future....
Male Kroger checker: (eyeing my willow twigs) "You just paid $4.00 for some sticks?"
Me: (gasping in shock at having my judgement questioned) "Yeah."
MKC: "But they're just sticks." (apparently he missed the day they taught complimenting the customer's purchase.)
M: "That's the whole idea"
MKC: "Sticks?"
M: "You're not married, are you?"
MKC: "No."
M: "Good. Wait awhile, you're NOT ready."
As I collected my bags he grumbled something to the bag boy about my rudeness. Imagine.
I was only trying to be helpful.
Posted by Anna at 6:28 PM | Comments (0)
Overheard:
(Two 9 year old girls stringing beads on my living room floor)
J: I don't want my mom to die, at least not until she's really really old age. That's what I'm gonna do, die of old age.
S: Or at least try.
J: Yep, I'm never gonna go to New York
S: Why?
J: That's where all the bad guys are.
Posted by Anna at 4:13 PM | Comments (0)
September 21, 2008
Carefree Sunday.....
Oh to be a kid again.
Posted by Anna at 9:42 PM | Comments (0)
You know you're flat chested when....
My Current Favorite 3 year old: (eyeing my picked over plate of stir-fry vegies) "Are you gonna eat all that, are you?"
Me: "Hmmmm.... I don't know, my stomach feels kinda full right now."
3 y/o: (placing his hand right over my youknowwhat) "Mmmmm... no, it doesn't feel full."
Ouch.
Posted by Anna at 9:12 PM | Comments (0)
September 16, 2008
I don't know whether to laugh or sigh....
I could set my head down, walk away and forget where I left it, for instance:
Yesterday, after blow drying and brushing my hair in front of the mirror, I began a frantic search for my glasses. Five minutes later they turned up, already on my face. I've always said the real reason I wear them is because I can't think without them.
Maybe it's time for a stronger prescription.
Posted by Anna at 12:42 PM | Comments (0)
September 12, 2008
Normal vs. Expert
Normal Patients:
Arrive a few minutes early for their appointment in hopes their doctor will have a no-show and be able to get to them sooner.
Carefully study the list of ailments/symptoms to ensure they have marked every appropriate item.
Bring their prescription medication along in a ziploc bag.
Come armed with a list of questions they want to ask their doctor in order to ensure an effecient exam.
Wore clothing that can be easily removed.
Sit around the waiting room quietly browsing germ infested magazines or staring off into space.
Forgive their doctor when he rushes into the exam room apologizing for their wait and explaining he's "running late".
Expert Patients:
Arrive fashionably late, knowing their doctor anticipates no-shows, intentionally overlaps appointments, and is already running late.
Breeze through paperwork, not particularly concerned with getting it right, their doctor knows most of this stuff anyway.
Left their prescriptions at home, their doctor has that information on file.
Didn't bother to make a list of questions, if they forget something they'll google it later.
Dress for the X-ray.
Come armed with Starbucks, life is too short.
Bring their own book.
Posted by Anna at 7:40 PM | Comments (0)
September 9, 2008
Maybe it's me....
I don't smoke, so I can't pass it off as a nic fit.
I consider ginger beer strong drink, so I can't say it was the tequila talking.
I could use the pms defense, except that I reserve the right to be bitchy any time of the month
I'm not on a diet, my blood sugar generally holds its own and I'm over the caffeine withdrawls.
Sometimes you just have to state the obvious.
Like at work:
Me: "Did your momma drop you on your head when you were born?"
Anonymous Co-worker: "I don't think so.... maybe."
M: "Maybe she should have."
Or going through the drive thru:
Overly enthusiastic employee on speed: "Welcome to Starbucks, would you like to try our perfect oatme....."
Me: "OH GOD NO!"
At least I showed enough restraint to spare her the suggestion that they rename it "perfectly vile oatmeal" with a capital "V".
Give me the chocolate chip cookies and no one gets hurt.
Posted by Anna at 1:31 PM | Comments (0)
September 7, 2008
Imagine if I had wanted a root beer float....
I normally thank cashiers when they card me, but twice in a row, by the same cashier, for ginger beer????
Posted by Anna at 7:04 PM | Comments (0)
September 4, 2008
The Best Cure....
The best way to banish thoughts that maybe being single is overrated and perhaps you could handle dating again is reading posts like this one
Posted by Anna at 1:18 PM | Comments (0)
September 2, 2008
The good news is.....
My doctor's office fixed their scale. (Alternate interpretation: I gained 16 pounds in the last 6 weeks, plus another 5 to make up for the 5 pounds of hair I had hacked off in a moment of desperation, both of which I assure you, did not happen, no matter how much they swear they've done nothing to their scale)
Of course, fixing their scale did not deter them from finding new ways to screw with me. This visit was the almost non-visit. I showed up, on time as always.
Girl behind the desk: "You're not in the schedule today."
Me: (this is where I should have said "oh, my bad, I'll come back some other day", unfortunately, I am too argumentative for my own good) "That would explain why you did not call on Friday to confirm my appointment."
GBTD: "Your appointment is for September 22."
M: "Except that would not be the day after Labor day, which we specifically discussed when the appointment was set."
Office Manager: (delighted their plot to piss me off was working as planned) "We'll pull your chart up and work something out."
What they worked out, after conceeding the appointment was most likely scheduled for today and not a figment of my imagination, was an arrangement where I got to sit around for another hour and a quarter before seeing the nurse practitioner. I asked her if they hold staff meetings to discuss ways to screw with me. She told me I don't have to come back for another four months, which I managed to negotiate into five months, since I already have that appointment scheduled. I may have suggested if the health care practice gig does not work out they could always start their own airline, they are that good.
Posted by Anna at 11:56 AM | Comments (0)
September 1, 2008
One thing leads to another....
It was a slipperty slope, doomed from the start. An innocent text message questioning the ethics of going to bed early on a night I'm getting paid to not work. The next thing I know the topic has turned to talk of breakfast, Starbucks and fresh fruit, or maybe a salmon frittata, french toast made with orange juice. All of a sudden sleep is forgotten, every light in the house is on and I'm digging through the fridge while contemplating a personal ad: "underspoiled princess seeking morning person who loves to cook". I wonder if craigslist has a category for that.
Posted by Anna at 10:42 PM | Comments (2)