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January 30, 2009
I have mad organizational skillz.....
I am a master at filing my own taxes, I began my working life at age 15, and have filed my own return each year since then with the exception of two years. Family members used to turn to me when they were too lazy to file their own return. I exchanged my Quicken enhanced 1040 literacy skills for the joy of having their respective squirmy toddler lodged between my face and the computer screen while completing the task.
I battled the IRS one year when they decided I owed them money because I flipped a couple numbers in a social security number, resulting in the annihilation of one of my dependents. After I explained the problem they were happy to agree with me. Problem solved.
I mourned the loss of tele-filing and was an early-adopter of e-filing, having used the option for the past four years. Just answer a few questions, click, click again, and ten days later the money magically appears in my bank account. I don't even have to get out of my pajamas.
I received my W-2 on Monday, on Wednesday morning I zipped through the interview questions for my return. When I got to the part where I was supposed to electronically sign my return I snagged. This is not information I keep at my fingertips. There was no link for the past two years of returns, even though I have used the same provider. Every. Year.
2K5 was present and accounted for, '06 and 07 were missing in action. No problem, I have paper files. My AGI would be in there. Except that the "taxes" folder contained information for '02, '03, '04 and '05. Nothing more.
I cussed myself for two nights, then tried again. I clicked through until I finally found how to recover the missing information. Just call the IRS. Perfect.
Calling the IRS is not what you would expect. It all starts out very standard, press 1 for this, 2 for that, the item you are listening for is always the last one, after you press that number there is another menu, and another, perhaps a menu inside a menu. Then the announcement that your wait time is between one and two years. No problem, last time the estimate was between five and six years, I'll take it. So after listening to Tchaikovsky being incessantly interrupted by an apology over my wait for nearly three months a representative comes on and asks what I want.
Me: "I'm trying to find my AGI for 2007, is that something you can help me with?"
Voice: "What is your social security number?"
M: "999-99-9999"
V: "997"
M: "999"
V: "999-97"
M: "999-99"
V: "999-99-7324?"
M: "999-99-9999"
V: "999-99-9999". Now we have too many numbers, lets start all over again
M: *rolling eyes* "999"
V: "999"
M: "99"
V: "99"
M: "9999"
V: "9999. 999-99-9999?"
M: "Yes" *sigh of relief*
V: "And your name, including middle initial
M: "Anna A-N-N-A, middle initial G, Warmuth, W-A-R" *pause* "M, like in Mary, U-T-H".
V: "And your address, including city, state and zip code?"
M: "1234 Any Street, Any town, Tennessee, 12345".
V: " Was your filing status last year Married filing Joint, Married filing Separate, Head of Household or Single?"
M: "Yes".
V: "Counting yourself how many dependents did you claim on last year's return?"
M: "Just me".
V: "Did you e-file or mail your return last year?"
M: "E-file".
V: "What was the name of the company you worked for in 2007?"
M: "What's on second, oh, wait, {Insert name of company here}".
V: "Can you spell that?"
M: "T, like in Tom, H-A" *pause* "T, like in Tom".
V: "Boxers or Briefs?"
M: "Briefs". *wondering how they would know anyway*
V: "Paper or Plastic?"
M: "Plastic for 2K7, but I've switched to environmentally conscious reusable cloth for 2K9".
V: "Shoe size?"
M: "6 1/2 Wide".
V: "One moment".
She then went on her lunch break.
40 minutes of static-y silence later I realized I could utilize the speaker phone option, and went off in search of my own records. Finally after two expandable file boxes and 5 shoe box sized boxes I located the missing W-2's in the box containing my old paystubs.
I'm trying to come up with a brilliant new filing system for this year's tax documents, one I'm sure not to forget.
Posted by Anna at January 30, 2009 7:29 PM